Last Summary

Sinclair and Pistorius become friends. Pistorius is sort of a teacher/master to Sinclair and he learns a lot from him and comes to many new realizations. They study mostly Abraxas as "god" but also sort of meditate and become more one with nature. Sinclair feels that he is coming even more in tuned to his true inner self. He then develops a new relationship with a boy named Knauer. At first Sinclair feels that he has no advice for Knauer, who is asking him bizarre questions about things like white magic and spirits. Knauer also asks him how he can become abstinent even in dreams and subconsciously. Knauer is sort of put of by Sinclairs lack of helpfulness and leaves. Later Sinclair finds himself being inexplicably drawn to a church, inside he finds Knauer and immediately realizes that he was about to commit suicide. After that Knauer sort of follows Sinclair everywhere, asking him all sorts of questions and seeing him as a sort of master. Then eventually Knauer slips out of Sinclairs life more or less unnoticed, though later he does realize knauer was a teacher to him as well. The ties between Sinclair and Pistorius are also severed around this time, but in a different way. Sinclair starts to feel as though he has grown more into himself than Pistorius could further teach him. He does not really like this feeling but does feel like he no longer needs Pistorius, he is even beginning to resist him. At one point he blows up and sort of implies that Pistorius is a bit of a fake. This wounds him very deeply, but he accepts it saying that Sinclair is right. Though they remain friends of sorts, it isn't the same teacher student bond that they had previously. Though him and Pistorius have one more enlightening talk. After this talk Sinclair comes to a realization that life is not finding what you are supposed to do or be, like a poet artist writer etc. Life is just a journey to find yourself. After this he once again spirals downward until he hits another low. At this point he writes a message to Demian saying, A leader has left me. I am enveloped in darkness. I cannot take another step alone. Help me. He does not however send it. At this point he leaves school and his father suggests that he travel for a while then go to university. During his vacation he goes to Demians old house. The present owner doesn't know Demians whereabouts but she shows Sinclair pictures of Demian and his mother. When Sinclair sees the pictures he recognizes the godlike masculine women in all his haunting dreams and paintings. His Daemon, and she is Demians mother.
On this trip before university Sinclair sort of wanders blindly searching for this woman. He sometimes feels like he glimpses her, but never actually meets her. Then he goes to the University. After a while there he one night recognizes Demians voice. They talk and are immediately bonded once again and talk with each other about everything and all the new realizations towards finding themselves. Sinclair walks Demian home. When Demian leaves he says that Sinclair will have to come visit him and his mother sometime as they have been waiting for him for so long. Sinclair gets a giddy anxious but childish feeling when he hears he will soon see the woman. The day he goes everything is brighter and the world for the first time in a long time seems happy and not some rotten outside. When he goes into the house one of the first things he realizes is his painting of the bird hanging in the house. He then meets Frau Eva (Demian's mother). She seems to know him exactly and all his feelings. He can see the mark of Cain on her, as it is on Demian, and on himself. He begins to visit the house more and more. They become a sort of group. Sinclair, Frau Eva, Demian, and many others who are journeying to find themselves. They share and all seems to understand each other well. Sinclair falls more and more deeply in love with Frau Eva. Some days he isn't sure whether he loves her for what she represents in himself, then other days he loves solely her passionately. He feels somehow still restrained by his love, held back like it is not really right. He explains this and everything to Frau Eva and she seems to understand, but tells him that until he can fully love her with no regret or doubt it will not be so. So Sinclair enters a melancholy beautiful time in his life, but both he and Demian sense there is a time coming where their kind will be called on. The feeling worsens and worsens and one day they get the news that war will start. Demian is a lieutenant and Sinclair is drafted. After being at war for a while Sinclair gets injured. I think it is a bomb, but when it goes off he describes it more in the shape of the tall Strong figure of Frau Eva. He pulls through and on the night when he finally becomes fully conscious again he finds Demian sitting over him. Demian tells him that though Sinclair may need him again he will no longer be able to come by him in crude form. He says that Sinclair must find Demian inside himself. Then he says that Frau Eva asked Demian should anything go wrong to kiss him, so he does. Sinclair goes back to sleep and in the morning Demian is no longer there.